Good day non-existent readers! It’s been a month since my last blog entry, but considering no one actually reads this, I’m not feeling guilty about my absence from wordpress.com.
I wonder what it would be like if people actually read this blog. I suppose I’d be more concerned about what I was saying, and how I was saying it. I might even attempt to be cool, and talk about things like vegan food trucks, or memes, or #hashtags. Maybe I’d meet people at parties, and brag about my stats, and exchange twitter handles with other bloggers. The more I think about it, the less I want to think about it. So let’s move past useless speculation, and get on with today’s blog.
Which is something I would love to do, but I’m having trouble getting started.
I’m struggling with what I should write about.
I’m without inspiration.
Hence the stalling…
Usually I just write whatever pops into my head, and organically it forms into the topic I want to discuss. But since I’ve started writing this particular entry, nothing has popped into my head. Nothing organic. Nothing with preservatives. Nothing from concentrate. I’m sorry to say, I’ve got nothing.
I feel awful about that. I’m disappointing all my readers out there (which we’ve already clarified is a total of zip, nada, zero, none).
Still, I hate to disappoint, even hypothetically.
I wonder where my inspiration has gone. I suspect my muse has left me. I don’t tend to believe in other worldly things, like muses, but now that she’s abandoned me, I’m eager to point the finger at her.
Interesting how I’m more apt to recognize the existence of my muse once she’s left me. That’s not very nice. It’s about time my muse stood up for herself and high tailed it out of here. I wasn’t giving her the respect she deserves. Dammit, it serves me right.
And now that I’m without my muse, with a blog entry to finish, the next logical step is to find a new one. ASAP. Maybe there’s an online service that’ll match me up with a new and improved muse. However, if it’s anything like a dating service, it’ll take too long, and I don’t think I’m quite ready to commit to a life long muse partner – I just want to write a damn blog entry, for goodness sakes.
Maybe there’s a muse prostitution ring out there. 50 bucks for an inspirational quicky. That sounds reasonable. But with my luck, she’d be a nasty muse that inspires me to cut my ear off, which must have been what happened to Van Gogh. It’s all making sense now…
So if I don’t want to be tied down with an ol’ ball and chain muse, or lose an ear from a low brow muse, I can’t see how I can explore this muse avenue any further.
I’m on my own. And since I started this blog entry, by golly, I’m going to finish it.
And this seems like a good spot to finish it.
Have a super duper day, non-existent readers!
And remember, don’t abuse your muse.